Monday, September 21, 2009

Part 1 – Hymen Breakers

Madam Boodwah and Chuck,

Why is it that men who turn out to not be that into you express a desire to do things together months down the track. Do they just change their minds then not want to be with you? Or do they think that the only way to have their way with a lass is feign some desire to commit? It's all too confusing.

Doll Face

Dear Doll Face

If there’s one thing Madame Boodwah has learnt over her treacherous years of dating, it is to take whatever comes out of “his” mouth in the early stages with a pinch of salt. With some men I think they believe what they are saying in the beginning but then they start freaking themselves out and start wondering if they really do mean this.

Madame Boodwah also advises you to be mindful of the Planting the Seed phenomenon, where some guys will say anything so they can break down the barrier. A few examples of what I like to call Hymen Breakers are below;

1. You know that big white house worth $7 million in Paddington that used to be Talcolm Murnballs, well I’m going to buy that one day.

2. We should sync our work trips together

3. Do want to borrow my car?

4. All my friends are couples or married so I feel a bit left out (he's trying to act as if he's on the same wavelength)

5. You should come play golf with me some time.

6. I’d love to learn how to dive, have you ever considered diving

7. I’m ready for a relationship (no man even if he is will ever confess this to you on the first date)

8. When I make my first million I’ll take you out to a really nice restaurant (after just asking you to go halves in the meal)

9. How many children do you want? I want a big family, preferably 4.

If all of these statements or similar are made on a first date make an impromptu exit because he most certainly doesn't mean it. I’m a big believer that actions speak louder than words - until he actually delivers upon these promises take everything he says very light heartedly because some will say anything to get what they want and keep you where they need to. Good responses include saying nothing or making nonchalant statements like ‘I’ll believe it when I see it’.

Another thing to beware of are the ‘chick’s want me’ statements that start flowing which is a common theme amongst divorced men. Examples include:

1. I was selling my car online and this divorcee wanted to buy it off me except she wanted more. She sent me a text asking for sex. Do you want to see it? (I struggle to find women who want to sleep with me)

2. I’ve dated some glamorous girls in my time. I always had to try and stop my mum from coming over to clean the house as I was worried she’d see a g-string on the floor or something.

3. My secretary once saw me completely naked while I was trying to get changed for a party and she just stood staring at my cock. (This generally means he has a small penis because a guy with a big one has no need to convince you)

4. Women struggle to keep up with me (I'm likely to lay there like a dead star fish while you do all the work)

As shallow as this may sound I think these statements or questions that allude to a future together are not only said to break our hymens but to also test us so they can work out what we really want from them. Men like women want to be loved for who they really are rather than what they have materially. He wants to see if you just want to get a relationship with him for the sake of being in one or because you because you really want to be with him. Sure it's a weird way of going about finding the truth but this is one way they can operate.

A PolyGram would be so much easier!

Madame Boodwah

Over to you Chuck for part 2 tomorrow…

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