Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Chum in the water (Part 4) – The Prodigal Son Returns


I hope this finds you well.

I thought I would write in and let you know how everything washed out after our encounter.

I have to say; I went to that bar expecting to drown my sorrows. It was a surreal experience bumping into you and telling you everything. Thank you for listening and more importantly, pushing me in a direction I was scared to take.

Ok, you’re probably reading this inserting your smart-ass comments so I should tell you what happened.

First of all I slept off the hangover!

Over the weekend I replayed our conversation in my head and realised you’re right, I did nothing wrong. This made me more determined to speak to my mate. I showed up to his work on Monday, which caught him off guard. He works in a small office so I knew I could talk to him without too many interruptions.

I have never been so nervous in my life. I just jumped right into it and explained everything that went down. What was really amazing is that I was so paranoid that he would see what was going on but he had no clue at all. He was so surprised that he didn’t say anything. I showed him a few of the text messages just to prove what I was saying. I told him that I did nothing and tried to stop everything.

He did try and say that surely I was involved or had encouraged it but I just kept saying that I did nothing. I told him that after a lot of thought that I decided that telling him was the best decision I could make. I would understand if he didn’t want to talk to me anymore but that if I didn’t tell him our friendship was over anyway because I would be too awkward being around his girlfriend.

He actually asked me what I thought he should do. That was a bit of a shock. I tried to think like you and be honest. I said that he should confront her and find out what she was on about.

Anyway, he didn’t dump the slut the next day, and we didn’t speak for about a week or so. Even then it was different to how it usually was. But he stopped over at my place last weekend with a carton and told me he’d dumped her. He said he’d confronted her on it after we spoke and she denied it totally (pretty lucky I kept the texts). Anyway, he said it had made him think about her more and when she lied he decided that was it.

I also got a text from her last week saying, “thanks for fucking my life”

Thanks for all your help again Chuck and I hope that I can stay in touch



Jesus Tommy, Chuck wasn’t serious about spilling the beans to your mate! You’re lucky he didn’t beat you to within an inch of your life! What sort of imbecile listens to a random stranger in a bar?

Chuck’s jerking your chain Tommy – you did real well.

Chuck is forever being confronted by people who take the road most travelled. The easy option would have been to sweep it under the rug, sever your friendship with your mate and move on. You confronted your demons, stepped up and took care of business.

In all likelihood you will find your friendship has elevated to another level – (brotherly love, only slightly more sexual). You have crossed the line that males are so often scared to traverse. You were open, honest and emotional. The days of the non eye contact handshake greeting are over (which is good for you Tommy - Chuck has to tell you that infants offer a firmer grip than you do– work on that!), you guys will be bro-hugging before you know it. Letting your mate know that you were prepared to end your friendship in order to be upfront with him is a massive step and he will always appreciate and trust you for that (which means you could probably pork his next woman and get away with it!).

His nut job ex-girlfriend’s reaction is unsurprising. She was clearly living in la la land anyway so it makes sense that she would try and pin it on you. If you ever found her attractive, right now would be the absolute best time to put her through the bedsprings hate fuck style. That sex could be explosive – her fruitiness combined with your anger could result in chafed genitals. Be warned however, if you put your cock in any of her orifices, you’ll get no help here in the aftermath. You can only dance with the devil so many times!

Chuck tends not to mix business with pleasure Tommy so catching up in the future may not be an option. On top of this, there is a strong possibly that Chuck has irreversible bladder damage after continually drinking with you on a belly full of urine (Do you know how unsightly a colostomy bag is? - What Chuck will do to save a young soul). However in this instance and once Chuck rehabilitates his bladder back to full strength, perhaps a catch up gin and tonic can be on the cards. After all, if your mate is turning to you for advice, Chuck needs to make sure that his protégé is singing the same tune!

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