Thursday, August 20, 2009

Try!.........but not too hard.

For all of you dialing in for Part 5 of Dante's Dating Inferno, your final installment will now be transmitted on Monday. For today, Chuck had to tackle the following subject in light of Australia's upcoming tussle with New Zealand in the rugby:

Dear Chuck,

I'm enjoying the blog and hoping to put the lessons into practice in Sydney when I go to the rugby. If I leave that stadium without an invitation to someone's house / bar / boat for post game drinks, I'll be most upset! Maybe we need a post on how to pick up at a rugby match! For example, will he be impressed that I am there and into the game as much as he is, or is he likely to just see me as one of the boys?

Love,

The Future Mrs Berrick Barnes.

Dear FBB,

Women and sports.. what a conundrum.

Chuck has put a lot of time and thought into this very question. On the one had, a well educated and passionate woman can be the ultimate date or partner. On the other hand she can be a ridiculous and sometimes embarrassing pain in the arse. From another perspective, a love of sport and sharing a kindred spirit with a bloke may actually shift your view from lover to one of the lads.

Chucks suggests you smear on some dencorub and adjust the protective cup as we delve into the realm of women, sport and relationships.

A few key observations:

*What isn't attractive to a man in a woman at a sporting event – slamming bundy and cokes and hanging over the fence abusing Keven Mealamu.

*What is attractive to a man in a woman at a sporting event – knowing how the scoring system works.

*What isnt attractive to a man in a woman at a sporting event – getting into a fight at a sporting event with another spectator or worse yet, getting your partner in a fight on your behalf.

*What is attractive to a man in a woman at a sporting event – knowing the players on each team.

*What isnt attractive to a man in a woman at a sporting event – openly suggesting that you would bone every guy on the team.

*What is attractive to a man in a woman at a sporting event – knowing the basic history and recent success / failure of your team.

*What isnt attractive to a man in a woman at a sporting event – power spewing during the match.

*What is attractive to a man in a woman at a sporting event – offering to go on a beer run.

*What isnt attractive to a man in a woman at a sporting event – team face paint.

*What is attractive to a man in a woman at a sporting event – team underwear.

*What isnt attractive to a man in a woman at a sporting event – re-enacting the Haka on your own during warm ups.

*What is attractive to a man in a woman at a sporting event – having access to corporate boxes.

It really is a balancing act. Men will find a well educated female sport fan extremely attractive right up until a point. When they start to become too obsessive the attraction starts to decrease and the “one of the lads” phenomenon begins.

Some men feel that going to sporting events with their mates is the last bastion of masculinity and don't want to give it up. These are usually men who have partners that cut the crusts off their sandwiches, iron their underwear, insist that they put the toilet seat down and generally try to emasculate them at every opportunity.

As a female you want to be confident in your knowledge but not brash. Men like to think that sport is their domain, so if you can show a subtle understanding of the finer points then you will generally score points. If you just so happen to land a seat next to a decent looking chap during the game an easy approach would be to inquire about the identity of an obscure player (who's name you ultimately know). Make sure it isn't the team captain, remember, you want to avoid looking clueless, hence asking after a lesser known player. You may also want to do some homework on recent performance so that you can comment as to whether the boys look on form.

In all honesty, it is not at the game that you are going to pull a bloke (if anyone ever has, please shoot the story through to rbytes101@yahoo.com.au). Most men are too dialled in on the outcome to bother with meeting women (unless of course you get your kit off and streak, then you have the full attention of every guy in the joint).

The prime place to meet a guy and bond over a shared love of sport is the pre or post game social engagements. You have the ultimate conversation starter with every bloke in the place and while you are showcasing your appreciation for the game you can also employ your usual feminine tricks of the trade to reel them in. Your chances of picking up a bloke increase exponentially by the magnitude and result of the match, so always make sure you attend the deciding game of a series or a grand final.

Once you have scooped up a rugby loving bloke after the game on Saturday night and whisked him back to your pad for a “debrief”, don't be surprised if he asks you to throw on his old uniform and make like a hooker.

1 comment:

  1. Chuck, as a master of all things women, you should know that 1) a woman does not like to be kept waiting 2) a lady likes closure and 3) breaking a promise is ill-advised.
    In light of this, what possible reason could you have to make me cranky and delay the gratification that I assume will be part 5 of The Inferno? For shame!

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