Monday, August 10, 2009

No meat and 3 veg

Dear Chuck and Madame,

I went on a “breakfast date” the other day with a guy I’ve been quite keen on for a while and when I was about to tuck into my baked eggs he brought up the fact that he’s a vegan. I told him that wasn’t a problem with me. I was a vegetarian for a few years and it’s an admirable thing to do. Then he told me he found it offensive that anyone could eat eggs in front of him. At first I thought he was joking, but he was dead serious. In retrospect, I kicked myself and thought, I should have asked him to get out and eat his gluten-free fun-free toast elsewhere, as he had in fact offended me and was ruining what would have otherwise been a really pleasurable breakfast experience. But a little guilty voice inside me told me I was being intolerant of someone else’s beliefs and maybe I just feel uncomfortable when someone like that is around me because it makes me feel guilty. Should I listen to my conscience or kick it in the gutter and get on with eating a big steak – with someone else?

Is there a future for us? I expect he’ll tell me he can’t kiss me because I taste like meat. We were getting on so well before this. And I hate mung beans!!


The Rampant Carnivore

Madame Boodwah

Dear Rampant Carnivore

Meat is a vital contributor to brain health clearly this is already affecting this Mung Bean Messiah.

In some respects yes it can be admirable but it still doesn’t make him Neo Ghandi.

When dating or having a relationship it’s important you walk away feeling good from your interaction with each other. If a person makes you feel bad while dating particularly about your belief system this is a clear indicator the person is not worthy of your time or friendship. Sure you were getting on well before the ‘egg’ incident but people generally put their best foot forward when first spending time with each other however it didn’t take long for his ugly monster to rear it’s head.

The Mung Bean Messiah needs to come out from his fog of vegan smugness and realise not everything is about him. Did you deliberately eat eggs in front of him to piss him off? No. You ate them because you enjoy your eggs.

It seems the MBM feeds his carrots through his ass. Obviously one is still stuck. You seem like a really decent person for accepting his Veganism but what’s with his double standards by not accepting you for who you are?

The MBM is also coming across as quite the control freak through treating you as if you’ve just raped the world of all its oil supplies for just eating eggs. If you continue this dalliance you’ll be forever not living up to his expectations leaving you to feel like his feeble servant forever unworthy but forever under his control.

No there is no future. My advice to you would be stay true to your intuition and kick the MBM to the gutter and leave yourself open to the prospect of sharing a thick juicy steak with a big sexy hunk of a carnivore. The only kiss you should give him is the one goodbye.

New Rule: Date people who make you feel good and accept you as you are.

No comments:

Post a Comment