So on Monday I text him, asking him did he want to reschedule this week? And then he tells me he doesn't think its a good idea. Why? Because he has a GIRLFRIEND. He hastens to clarify that he's been on a few dates with this girl, but it's just turned serious and he thinks he would be cheating on her if he saw me again. I'm a bit dumbstruck to be honest - in the space of 15 hours, the man has gone from inviting me to his pad for a Sunday arvo shag (well reading between the lines I'm assuming that's what he was after) to having a serious girlfriend. I take the higher ground, wish him well, and expect to hear no more from this clown.
Except two weeks later, I get this text: "Hi Liz, things didn't work out with my girlfriend. I hope you won't be offended but I was wondering if you wanted to hang out again."
I'm sorry but this just floored me. Totally and utterly left me open-mouthed, yelling "What the f***!!! WHAT THE F***!!!" at my phone. Short of hurling abuse or scorn at the man, I couldn't form a response, so simply gave none.
Clearly this guy is a joker that deserves no more of my time. But I am left with questions....why break a five month dry spell on a first date? Who then thinks it is okay to leave said date with friends are so off their faces they actually couldn't pronounce their own names? (Really, one of them couldn't manage to say "Andrew"). Who then gets a "serious girlfriend" in the space of 15 hours? And lastly, who the f*** thinks writing a text message effectively saying "well my first choice didn't work out, so I might as well have a second crack at you" is an okay thing to do?
Chuck, Madame Boodwah....WTF????
Chuck Long: Liz, this guy is such a train wreck that there is a high probability that he has forgotten that the lady he is paying to have sex with him is a prostitute and has delusionally started to believe that she was his girlfriend.
Chuck is still a little dumbfounded that you kept this guy on the radar.
Chuck can appreciate that you have some questions, so lets put some thought into each of them
Why break a five month dry spell on a first date? Modern medical definitions describe alcoholism as a disease and addiction which results in a persistent use of alcohol despite negative consequences.
Who then thinks it is okay to leave said date with friends are so off their faces they actually couldn't pronounce their own names? An alcoholic.
Who then gets a "serious girlfriend" in the space of 15 hours? Yeah, an alcoholic.
Many alcoholics are able to gain control of their lives and lead relatively normal existence's. This guy clearly has not won his battle with the devil's water and all his decision making is off-kilter as a result. You cannot expect anything along the lines of normality with this bloke as evidenced by the roller coaster events in the above experience.
Chuck knows that meeting a top shelf bloke in this day and age can be a long and arduous task but that does not mean that you need to lower your standards and put up with this dog and pony show.
After this experience, Chuck suggests you take a long hot shower with a brillo pad and scrub away the demons – both his.....and yours.
Madame Boodwah, Chuck needs a stiff drink, can you close this one down?
Madame Boodwah: Pass the scotch Chuck. Dante I think we can all agree that you have well and truly reached the deep dark depths of the dating inferno. I agree with Chuck on his response to your questions. I am sure this is an experience that you’ll never forget but the good news is the only way from here is up.
Unless our readers prove us wrong can it really get any worse than this? I’m happy you didn’t reply to his request to be his second best girlfriend. That is the best response you could of given him.
This drunkard is one short of a 6 pack. He insults the intelligence of all human kind. May the next guy you attract be the polar opposite.
In conclusion Madame Boodwah suggests adding some mentholated spirits to that brillo pad.
Chuck I need a refill.
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