Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Dante's Dating Inferno - Part 2

Tueday picks up where we left off....

We hit some cheap RSL and I order a beer, except he decides he isn't drinking. Fair enough, he's driving. But then after watching me drink mine - at a normal pace I might add - he decides he's going to have one. And so he does. And then he has another. And another. And then another. I'm not attempting to keep up with him, and I'm starting to enjoy his company despite initial misgivings and the dive of a place we are sitting in. But at about my 6th beer, I notice a distinct change in his personality. He's clearly sh*t-faced, and starting to get a bit sarcastic and rude towards me. When I see him hit the bar for the 9th or 10th time, and ask for two vodka shots to be tipped into his beer, alarm bells start going off. Loudly.

I call him on it - ask him what the deal is - and he comes back with some sarcastic answer about me being a nosey b*tch. I start to pick up my bag and leave, and then suddenly he starts talking in a rush. He's got a drinking problem see - and he's been dry for five months. For some reason unbeknownst to me, he decides a first date is a good time to fall off the wagon. I sit down, and I'll admit, in my hazy very much drunk state, I start to feel sorry for him, and actually feel an urge to talk to him and not dismiss him out of hand. We all have our demons right? So we have a few more drinks....

Chuck Long: New Reality Bytes Rule – No RSL's on the first date. Jesus, this should have been the moment at which you hit the kill switch. Did this guy actually want to impress you or was he hard up for a dollar and needed the cheap drink option?

Then again, perhaps this was a ploy to see if you were low maintenance. You know, the type of woman comfortable operating in the midst of retired war veterans and gambling addicts.

Another Reality Bytes Rule – don't get shit faced on your first date.

Oh, and here's one more.. anytime you get abused by a rude and sarcastic date, end the date, lose the number and never speak to the dick again.

Err, how many rules have we just made?? fuck it lets add another - don't fall off the wagon on your first date with a woman.

The scary thing for our readers is that we are only up to part 2 of a 5 part series.

Chuck likes the bit where you start to feel sorry for the rude alcoholic and decide to hear out his sob story... over a few more drinks!

MB, please make some sense of this...

Madame Boodwah: WTF’ing HELLLLLL?!?!?! You are on the very edge of the inferno my darling.

I feel I could add another verse to 14,000 lines of ‘The Divine Comedy’...

RSL. Beer.

Another. Another. Another.

6th beer. A bit sarcastic and rude

9th beer. 10th beer.

2 vodka shots into beer. Nosey Bitch.

Admits he’s an alcoholic.

Well all have our demons right??? So we have a few more….

I’m amazed guys like this joker exist. Dante, it’s time for a bit of self inquiry. You sound like a really compassionate person but what have you been projecting about yourself to make him think he doesn’t have to try hard with you? This guy is full of fear and self loathing but you know what - it’s not your problem. There are professionals who can help him.

All of Chucks Rules apply here and this is only part 2.


  1. oh no, I don't think I can WAIT for part 3. This can't possibly get worse... can it?

    and, lady, don't mean to sound like a dating wowser, but there are some basic RSVP rules... what are you doing getting into a car with someone you met on the interweb AND going straight to his house? Before you've even put your beer goggles on? partICularlay in a WRX!! not only could this spell the end of your social and fashion credibility but the end of your girl bits as you know them. Have you not read American Psycho??

    please, next time, meet him at the bar and get yr girlfriend to call you after 30 with the "is he a psycho" rescue test. You always need an out. This ones sounds like he might have qualified.

    The dating angel

  2. I feel your pain. I, too, have a desperate urge to deeply understand people (drunk or otherwise) and be sympathetic, even when it's not in my best interests.

    I think we both need to grow a pair and realise that it's OK to not to comprehend some people.