Thursday, November 12, 2009

Brazilian Women

Dear Madame Boodwah

I was wondering if you could offer your expertise on foreign women like Brazilian women to be precise.

About 7 months ago my brother an Australian male returned from a whirl wind trip around the world. During his travels he met a Brazilian girl who he has stayed in touch with. This month she’ll be arriving in Australia to stay with my brother for a month.

I’ve seen a photo of her and she is stunning. Like Gisele stunning. Sure I think my brothers a catch and I don’t mean to sound superficial but he’s no Hugh Jackman so I worry about what her true intentions are as she is from a 3rd world country.

Madame Boodwah am I just being over protective or is my intuition right? Your knowledge on Brazilian women would be appreciated.

Twisted Sister 

Dear Twisted Sister

One hot summers’s day in Brazil Madame Boodwah was lying on Copacobana Beach with her Brazilian friend Fernando sipping on some Caipirinha’s while watching the mostly naked world go by.

In front of us lay a couple of Caucasian men soaking up the rays and having a laugh when 3 Brazilian women walked over to them seductively wearing a bikini that left nothing much to the imagination.

‘Ola’ they sang in chorus smiling ‘where you from?’ they asked as they sat down making themselves at home.

To be honest these guys weren’t anything to do a double take on but these girls could easily get a triple take.

Madame Boodwah observed the interaction from behind her dark sunglasses trying to look inconspicuous. The Brazilian culture had definitely been an eye opener for her in the way women act around men. Madame Boodwah has always believed confidence is attractive but these girls took it to another level.

‘Fernando why are Brazilian women so forward?’ asked Madame Boodwah

‘Because in Brazil there are 3 single women to 1 single man’ Replied Fernando with a big smile knowing that the gods had blessed him.

‘Unfortunately we have a cultural problem here in Brazil where most Brazilian’s think that a person from another country is more ‘important’ than a Brazilian. There is also a big difference between the poor and the rich so when a poor woman in Brazil finds a rich foreigner she will usually do anything to get married to him.’ Continued Fernando

‘I see’ Replied Madame Boodwah

Fernando spotted a friend of his a couple of meters away from us sporting nothing but a thong and a humungous pair of plastically enhanced breasts.

‘Hey Cha Cha!’ he yelled out vying for her attention. Cha Cha turned around and noticed who it was then came running towards us waving and excited. It was like a scene out of Baywatch but without the red bathing suit. ‘Don’t give yourself a black eye’ thought Madame Boodwah.

‘Muwah muwah’ said Cha Cha as she lent over to kiss Fernando

‘Madame Boodwah this is my friend Cha Cha. Cha Cha this is my friend Madame Boodwah.’ Said Fernando

‘Nice to meet you Cha Cha.’ Said Madame Boodwah. Cha Cha lent over to kiss her ‘Don’t knock me out with those breasts’ thought Madame Boodwah.

‘Where is your husband?’ Asked Fernando

‘Oh he’s on a business trip’ Cha Cha explained as she rested her left hand with a big piece of bling on her hip.

After a bit more chit chat Madame Boodwah asked Cha Cha how she met her husband.

‘Well darling, I use to work in a bar and the first time I met him I asked him out and he said no. So I let it go then I try again and still he says no! Then he go away for a couple of years and we then run in to each other. I ask him out again and he says yes! I get pregnant and now I have bling, bling’ said Cha Cha holding up her hand giving Madame Boodwah the wink.

Note to men wanting to go on a naked rampage through Brazil: Don’t do what Nick Cave did and knock up 2 women in Brazil within a week of each other. Where a condom! (His sons are incredibly good looking though)

Eventually Cha Cha leaves us to go say hello to someone calling her name and Fernando rolls over and smiles at me ‘I make my case.’

The important thing here Twisted Sister is you have to ask your brother what kind of background she comes from? If she’s poor there’s a high chance she’s in it for the money but if you lived in a slum you could be possibly motivated to do the same thing. If she’s from a rich Brazilian family don’t expect her to very domesticated as she would have had servants doing this for her her whole life. However they could never carry on this lifestyle in say America, Australia or London because when you convert their dollar they wouldn’t be able to afford this lifestyle.

The best advice I can offer is to welcome her into your home but keep an eye on her. She’s only here for a month. She may give him the most mind blowing sex his ever had in his life and with time he’ll work out if he’s prepared to deal with the cultural and geographical differences. It’s also something he can one up his mates on because even they probably can’t get a Western girl who looks this good.

As a man by a pool side once told me as I cringed ‘Madame Boodwah unless you’ve got money, looks and charm it’s virtually impossible for an average male to get someone of with the looks of a supermodel in Australia but they can still get the crème de la crème of 3rd world countries even if they fail to see they are just the meal ticket.’

Hopefully your brother doesn’t look this objectively at women.

Good luck and keep us posted Twisted Sister!

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