The next day I get a text, apologising. Asking if he can see me again. With some additional apologies thrown in. I think about it and then decide, why not. When the guy wasn't drunk he was actually smart and funny, a bit of a lad but very likeable all the same. I suggest the next weekend - but then work gets in the way until Sunday. So I give him a call, thinking an afternoon movie is a safe bet.
I call him and he sounds drunk. He insists he's not, and he wants to hang out. He invites me to his place, because he's too "tired" to get off the couch, and certainly too "tired" to drive over and pick me up. I decline. Over the next two hours we have a text exchange of him repeatedly asking me over. He offers to pay the cab fare, he offers to cook dinner, he offers to go buy some nice wine. I am not to be moved, and tell him I'll speak to him the next day. I get a final pleading phone call in which he sounds a bit drunk, but I really couldn't make a final call on that.
Chuck Long: You stayed in touch with this guy!!!! Do you have a death wish? You have all the makings of the woman who marries a serial killer on death row. The girl who likes bad men. They're called bad men for a reason you know? Stay away from Longreach Prison.
As high calibre as this guy seems to be, it may come as a surprise to know that he was trying to get you over to his place so he could knock one out.
Honestly, this is the sort of dude every dad dreams his daughter will meet.
Madame Boodwah, perhaps our lady friend is the one who needs the intervention?
Madame Boodwah: To my dear Dante and readers – I have a confession to make. I was once the woman who loved bad men. Bad to the bone. Sometimes when women have had quite a conservative upbringing, a previously boring relationship or wants some excitement from their monotonous routine a bad man is the remedy. Generally it all starts lovely and then the pushing and pulling begins – he’s kind, attentive and caring sometimes romantic, takes you to bed, then starts putting you down, treating you badly then ignores you, goes off the radar and you wonder what the hell happened?? We had such a great connection??? Then he needs sex again. He’s comes back acting as if his spots have changed and he’s as amazing as when you first met him. You end up back in the sack with him and the cycle begins again. Capiche?
Unfortunately these manipulative dickheads will only ever want you for sex and that will never change. Why do we fall for these tossers? Well we let our hearts rule our heads instead of heads ruling our hearts. I don’t believe our heads should fully rule our hearts but if you can strike a balance life will be a lot easier. A lack of confidence and a poor self-image can also fog up your ability to see through his crap. Capiche?
Dante you’ll never be able to change him as we only have the power to change ourselves. A good way to start is by just being kind and loving to your self and acknowledging that you deserve to be treated with respect. Capiche?
Bad men are what my girlfriends and I call 'hangovers'. Its all fun getting dressed up, butterflies in your belly as you enter the bar, you have a few wines, pledging you will not mix your drinks tonight. Then a few champaign cocktails and a plethora of shots later and your having ANOTHER conversation with the porcelain bowl. The next day you swear you will not drink again, until the following saturday morning and youre shivering on the bathroom floor asking yourself, 'when will i learn?' Bad men are exactly the same. We women forget why we broke up with the guy who would rather play Nintendo than talk about the middle east peace process. We forget that his IQ is lower than the GI level of a donut. Probably because he's a good kisser, or has a big mambo. Whatever it is, we forget about hangovers and always go back for more.
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